RBHarter
West Central AR
Usually today I would drag up the family tales of Pearl Harbor . But most of you have read them here and other places . God rest the weary souls of not only those that didn't make and those that did , but the civies that were there and knee deep in it too .
No today I will regale you with a tale of Dad and I's last hunt .....well really the drive to the lease and 10 minutes of not the least bit humorous in the moment but in hindsight one has to laugh just a little .
If prosthetic humor is a problem moove on along .
Dad lost his eye as a child in an unfinished closet so by 12/20ish of his 76th year he was pretty comfortable with it . I'm told 69 yr will do that . Now you have to understand he wasn't shy about having only one but he an Mom were married nearly 25 years before she saw him without his prosthetic or in a patch .
He was one of the lucky ones . He didn't need drops to keep it wet and he never outside of a couple of pretty nasty head colds had a drippy , snotty , or need to blink or squint to get it wet or have to dry it out .
I always envied him just a little for his shotgunning as he strictly used size for lead ranging rather than depth of field ....... Of course a dark line on a sidewalk raised cain with his walking as did unmarked ramps . No depth perception you know .
Moving along Dad had pulled or overworked a hamstring and been on a diuretic BP med so he'd not slept well and had just a little hit and run dry eye going on . As a result out 0400 roll out and 45 min drive to the lease gave him time to steal a nap about 30 minutes worth . Which left him with some new sleepies goobers in his now sticky eye . It was just about the last turn up the mile of dirt road to the lease gate when he hooked the left temple of his glasses between 2 fingers on his left hand instead of the usual lens frame pinch . Minor fumble but no biggie . The handkerchief came up like 10,000 times before .
Not this time . The hanky hung on it just enough to and just right . The fake rolled out and off his thumb knuckle , the spontaneous elbow wrist lunge happened in near perfect timing for the firm braking to come in ........ He let go of the handkerchief and started after the now fully in flight arcing in an irregular flow brought on by it's 60-25mph braking he began the swat to chest recovery bit . In the midst of this the secure glasses , but ungripped also went for a ride and tipped the loose prosthetic sending it to the door window sill . Remember the guy chasing this irregular shaped marble has no means gauging where it is between him and the dash . Fortunately at this point the chase settled down and landed in his lap collecting a gob wool jacket fuzz .
Now I don't how often you've gotten something in your eye but a strand of wool may as well be a rusty Brillo pad in the empty socket when you're trying to be casual about putting your eye back in . So out it comes again and half the hanky goes in the socket as I'm getting straight in the road after the turn off . He wipes it off good and catches a tear to add a little slickum and pokes it back in . I'm feeling a little awkward right about now and he says " it doesn't feel right does it look ok? " I swear to God the the coffee spit just burst out before I even had a chance to suspect it might be there , because he had it in sideways and it looked like a shamed hound looking all off in the corner . "No Dad you missed it by 60-120°" . Now he's embarrassed and flips down the vanity mirror and mutters something inappropriate for print but well suited to the moment .
He goes for the eye again and I don't know if his glasses being on the dash was good or bad at this point because damned if his eye didn't try to make a run for again . This time I like no way not twice ..... Yes twice but this time I'm all but stopped and the eye went all the way to the headliner off the left thumb to the right elbow to the vanity mirror . It's a left hand chest swat with a right cover up ( you're reading like a radio soprts annoucer right ?) , it's deflected off the coat zipper ! Wait he's got it . Oh no it the pretty woman ricochet snail off the dash it on his knee it's going to be a lap save . Oh $$$$ it missed the seat !
Being a Ford Ranger there just isn't a lot of room to move around to reach the floor even if we could have seen it in the predawn moonless lighting . We got stopped and Dad got out and in the dome light was able to immediately find his eye .... And a mountain of dirt stuck to it . I got out and started around to get a water bottle out of the back just in time to hear something about of all the sloppy butter fingered , something about a son of a female dog ......and he's down on his knee hunting in the grass . "Dad did you dip that sucker silicone ? "
He came on to the back truck and we got it washed off and he got a fresh handkerchief and he put the eye back again . Damned if he didn't get it upside down . In that moment of frustration he only said " to hello with it I'll fix it when I get home."
It was just like this every time I looked at him .
We saw one scroungy little forky . Dad stood the point and put me in the high shooter stand . About 10 we walked about 150 acres of chained off new growth and pushed a little 2 acre stand on the far end . Talked of life , kite strings , and sealing wax .
When we got home he went straight in to fix his eye but not before he was seen by Mom . She looked at me in the kitchen sacking the fridge and says " what did you do to your Dad ?" So I had to relate all of the above . She was appalled at first , but it just kept coming , and she soon could only say how embarrassed he must have been ." Young man " , she says to her 50 yo son , "he has always prided himself on his appearance ." Where he materialized in the corner of the kitchen with a scowl . It seemed to say , did you really tell the whole thing ? Quickly changing the subject I asked " would you have Doris the picture of Uncle Bingo in Tule lake with his wadders full of water ?" Pretty quick he was laughing about friends long gone and even how silly that wild eye looked .
No today I will regale you with a tale of Dad and I's last hunt .....well really the drive to the lease and 10 minutes of not the least bit humorous in the moment but in hindsight one has to laugh just a little .
If prosthetic humor is a problem moove on along .
Dad lost his eye as a child in an unfinished closet so by 12/20ish of his 76th year he was pretty comfortable with it . I'm told 69 yr will do that . Now you have to understand he wasn't shy about having only one but he an Mom were married nearly 25 years before she saw him without his prosthetic or in a patch .
He was one of the lucky ones . He didn't need drops to keep it wet and he never outside of a couple of pretty nasty head colds had a drippy , snotty , or need to blink or squint to get it wet or have to dry it out .
I always envied him just a little for his shotgunning as he strictly used size for lead ranging rather than depth of field ....... Of course a dark line on a sidewalk raised cain with his walking as did unmarked ramps . No depth perception you know .
Moving along Dad had pulled or overworked a hamstring and been on a diuretic BP med so he'd not slept well and had just a little hit and run dry eye going on . As a result out 0400 roll out and 45 min drive to the lease gave him time to steal a nap about 30 minutes worth . Which left him with some new sleepies goobers in his now sticky eye . It was just about the last turn up the mile of dirt road to the lease gate when he hooked the left temple of his glasses between 2 fingers on his left hand instead of the usual lens frame pinch . Minor fumble but no biggie . The handkerchief came up like 10,000 times before .
Not this time . The hanky hung on it just enough to and just right . The fake rolled out and off his thumb knuckle , the spontaneous elbow wrist lunge happened in near perfect timing for the firm braking to come in ........ He let go of the handkerchief and started after the now fully in flight arcing in an irregular flow brought on by it's 60-25mph braking he began the swat to chest recovery bit . In the midst of this the secure glasses , but ungripped also went for a ride and tipped the loose prosthetic sending it to the door window sill . Remember the guy chasing this irregular shaped marble has no means gauging where it is between him and the dash . Fortunately at this point the chase settled down and landed in his lap collecting a gob wool jacket fuzz .
Now I don't how often you've gotten something in your eye but a strand of wool may as well be a rusty Brillo pad in the empty socket when you're trying to be casual about putting your eye back in . So out it comes again and half the hanky goes in the socket as I'm getting straight in the road after the turn off . He wipes it off good and catches a tear to add a little slickum and pokes it back in . I'm feeling a little awkward right about now and he says " it doesn't feel right does it look ok? " I swear to God the the coffee spit just burst out before I even had a chance to suspect it might be there , because he had it in sideways and it looked like a shamed hound looking all off in the corner . "No Dad you missed it by 60-120°" . Now he's embarrassed and flips down the vanity mirror and mutters something inappropriate for print but well suited to the moment .
He goes for the eye again and I don't know if his glasses being on the dash was good or bad at this point because damned if his eye didn't try to make a run for again . This time I like no way not twice ..... Yes twice but this time I'm all but stopped and the eye went all the way to the headliner off the left thumb to the right elbow to the vanity mirror . It's a left hand chest swat with a right cover up ( you're reading like a radio soprts annoucer right ?) , it's deflected off the coat zipper ! Wait he's got it . Oh no it the pretty woman ricochet snail off the dash it on his knee it's going to be a lap save . Oh $$$$ it missed the seat !
Being a Ford Ranger there just isn't a lot of room to move around to reach the floor even if we could have seen it in the predawn moonless lighting . We got stopped and Dad got out and in the dome light was able to immediately find his eye .... And a mountain of dirt stuck to it . I got out and started around to get a water bottle out of the back just in time to hear something about of all the sloppy butter fingered , something about a son of a female dog ......and he's down on his knee hunting in the grass . "Dad did you dip that sucker silicone ? "
He came on to the back truck and we got it washed off and he got a fresh handkerchief and he put the eye back again . Damned if he didn't get it upside down . In that moment of frustration he only said " to hello with it I'll fix it when I get home."
It was just like this every time I looked at him .
We saw one scroungy little forky . Dad stood the point and put me in the high shooter stand . About 10 we walked about 150 acres of chained off new growth and pushed a little 2 acre stand on the far end . Talked of life , kite strings , and sealing wax .
When we got home he went straight in to fix his eye but not before he was seen by Mom . She looked at me in the kitchen sacking the fridge and says " what did you do to your Dad ?" So I had to relate all of the above . She was appalled at first , but it just kept coming , and she soon could only say how embarrassed he must have been ." Young man " , she says to her 50 yo son , "he has always prided himself on his appearance ." Where he materialized in the corner of the kitchen with a scowl . It seemed to say , did you really tell the whole thing ? Quickly changing the subject I asked " would you have Doris the picture of Uncle Bingo in Tule lake with his wadders full of water ?" Pretty quick he was laughing about friends long gone and even how silly that wild eye looked .
