Military funeral expenses??

[Tomme boy]

Does anyone know what the govt actually pays towards a funeral?

I got a call today my father is not doing well and is not supposed to last another week. I also found out there is no will and no plans were purchased to cover this. He was in the National Guard from 1966-71. Was HD but we can not find his dd214. He is in TX and I am in Iowa. Most of the whole family is here. We are trying to figure out what we need to do.

 

[462]

This should be helpful:

Request your military service records (including DD214) | Veterans Affairs

You can request a copy of your DD214 and other military service records from the National Archives. Learn more about how to make a request.

www.va.gov

 

[fiver]

they base a lot of it off actual days in service.
if he was in the guard and didn't spend enough time on duty as a full timer [man days, summer camps, basic training etc.] he might not be eligible for any benefits.

 

[Winelover]

In my experience, they don't pay money for burial but will inter a veterans body for free (as well as the spouse) at one of their National Cemeteries. My Father and Mother are at the one in Grand Ledge, Michigan......................just south of Flint. They offer burial or a cubby hole in a wall. We chose the wall option, since the remains were cremated. Headstone/ marker provided, at no cost.

They use to give $250 towards a headstone or option to take the cash. That went by the wayside.

 

[JonB]

If he was a member of VFW or American Legion, they can be a real big help finding benefits. My Dad (a WWII vet) was a lifelong member of the American Legion, At his funeral (at his church) in 2016, not only did the local American Legion provide Military Honors, they did so (coordinated) with the local VFW, it was quite a show. My Dad was cremated, and has yet to be interred.
-sadly, I can't help you with any detailed info of benefits, my Mom didn't share any of that with me.

 

[Winelover]

At the Veterans Cemetery, they provide a short outdoor ceremony, complete with a gun salute. They will give you a fired blank case as a keepsake.

 

[trapper9260]

They change then on the blank round they give . When I was in the navy and done some honor guard time while I wait for my ship to come in , we would shoot off 18 rounds of blanks and then put the 3 live rounds of blanks in the flag that was given to who it was to get it . In a regular cemetery they will give a small stone for the Vet. For the guard they would need to do some active duty time to get Vets benefits. Like was stated check with the Vets out fits like the VFW and any of the others to have them see if they can help normal they will.

 

[popper]

National Cemeteries - you need DD214 and they provide the burial service and plot only. You get the embalming and transportation costs. Takes a DD214 and death certificate to get started. Some companies (you pay) will do the paperwork. With the China flu, there are limits on funerals. There is a national cemetary in Arlington Tx. Sorry to hear of your dad's condition.

 

[Wiresguy]

There is more info here:

VA.gov | Veterans Affairs

Apply for and manage the VA benefits and services you’ve earned as a Veteran, Servicemember, or family member—like health care, disability, education, and more.

www.benefits.va.gov

My dad was a WWII vet and when he died, it never occurred to me to seek VA compensation. His death was sudden and unexpected and he already had a family plot in a nearby cemetery, so it was just natural to have him buried there.

He lived in Texas and I was living in Alaska at the time. It is tough helping out family members when they are some distance away.

As to the DD214, it used to be common practice for a vet to have his DD214 placed on file at the Court House with the County Clerk, so you might check with the county he lived in after his service obligation was completed.

 

[blackthorn]

Lots of good advise here. I cannot help as I live in Canada and have no knowledge of U S benefit programs. Up here (at least in B C), we have an organization called a Memorial Society that costs very little to join. After seeing the mess some folks had to endure, Gail and I joined, visited a funeral home and pre-paid our final arrangements years ago. All it requires, when the time comes, is a call to the funeral home we choose and all will be taken care of, except for finale disposition of the ashes. It cost us just over $4000.00 for both of us. If you have a similar organization and your Dad is still alive, you could cut the cost of a funeral by as much as 50%. I would think you could find out if such exists in Texas by contacting a state representative. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you deal with this sad responsibility.

 

[Tomme boy]

His sisters are already causing problems and he is not even gone. They are trying to tell me what I can and cannot do. This is because I never knew who he was till 4 years ago.

 

[fiver]

I don't want to sound like a dick.
but who did your dad put in charge of this?
if you,,, tell e'm to piss off or help.
I know, I know, BUT... yaknow.

 

[Rick H]

There is an old rule, kind of like Murphy's Law, that says "Nothing brings out the A$*****s in a family, like a wedding or funeral. "

I don't envy you. My condolences.

 

[Petrol & Powder]

If the sisters want to handle the matters, let them do it.
If it goes wrong, they own it and it will be their fault. If it goes right, great- It went right.

If you handle it and it goes wrong, it will forever be your fault.

If they want to run the show, LET THEM.

 

[Jeff H]

Track down the most local Veteran's Affairs office. I believe they are assigned by county and are usually near other services-types of entities related to state agencies, like the employment office - but not always.

Just a quick call could possibly save you some research time.

 

[popper]

I tried the county thing long ago. Did register there but NO records. VA is best chance. IIRC took 2 weeks to get mine in the mail. I agree, if sis's are going to handle it, let them. They probably have the closest to power of attorney. Hate to say this but if there is a will, request a copy, they must provide it. Close friends went through this mess, it can get ugly if much property involved. 2 homes involved and sister just assumed she could do as she wished, took everything. She didn't close his company when he passed, just wrote checks on the Co account til it was gone. Work it out as amiable as you can but you do have rights.

 

[Winelover]

I had it relatively simple. Parents had a trust with Durable Power of Attorney, as well as, a Medical POA. I was the executor. Only sibling was my sister and she differed to me.

 

[Hawk]

When my retired military FIL died it was an all out brawl.
My wife had a sister that was 53 and never worked a day in her life (welfare and various faith and church support groups) and a brother that was 51 and had been a hippie his whole life and was basically a vagrant with various odd jobs his whole life.
My FIL had partially supported these two financially since forever.
He was dying of COPD, the Dr.s could do nothing else, so they sent him home to die in his own bed, which was what he wanted.
The brother and sister wanted him on life support, so they could continue to milk money from him.
Luckily, he had a Living Will, a Will, my wife and I both had financial and medical POA and I was executor of the estate.
The Will said since they had both been living off of him for their whole lives, they got nothing from the estate. I still gave them a portion, but not what they wanted, which was all of it. They even tried to take us to court to get it, but couldn't find an attorney that would take their case.
Basically, the nicest things they called us were murderers. The worst can't be repeated here.
The things that saved us were the documents he executed before his final illness. The Living Will, a Will, the POA and me as executor of his estate.
Check to see what legal documents he has executed, if any, and honor his wishes.
We have a sole daughter, but this taught us to get our shit together, anyway.
Those of you that don't have these documents prepared in advance, please do so. It will help your family deal with what will already be a tragic lose for them.

 

[RBHarter]

I count myself lucky . I've seen my grandparents wreck and the swoop and slash . My great Aunt left essentially everything done save a half dozen phone calls . Her estate was in a single trust and though harsh sounding 90 days to vacate her home of desired stuffs . Aside from a minor fuxpas by my Aunt concerning a moderate cash stash all went according to plan and most of us got what we wanted and the remainder was liquidated as seen fit . The trust was a little weird in it's set up and after 5 years it was broken with only 16 signatures in agreement with 8 being minors and some complicated age/competency language .........
Mom and her sister had some disagreements about specific items but worked it out .

My grandmothers spent 1-3 yr in asst living and had dulled out almost everything short of personal effects by their time .

I'm it for my folks . No bugs there . Mom made her last wishes known but not final disposition . She assured there is enough money in the books to take care of the needs . Everything has my name on it for the last 20 years so there are only a handful of hiccups .

I don't envy anyone that has to deal with angry family . I really feel for your situation , I can't even imagine .

 

[popper]

term life insurance is for young folks, even without dependents. Wills are for everyone! Medical (revocable) POA is good for disability when needed. Just DON'T make a lawyer the person in charge (or a banker). I have a medical POA with bro. as executor - only for a case that I cannot (medically) make decisions. Will also cover us if both incapacitated at the same time. Funny, talked to an ins. guy about double indemnity - not usually paid - one always is dead after the other. And they usually declare her as last.