Responsibility, character, self-esteem, and respect

[Petrol & Powder]

Another thread got my mind wandering and brought back memories; some old and some newer.

Responsibility is not measured by age and every person is different, but responsibility should be earned, not simply handed out.

In another thread people were asked about when they started shooting. Most of the accounts involved someone deciding another person was capable of being responsible and then introducing that person to firearms. I got to thinking about other earned responsibilities.

Walking to school on your own. Walking to the bus stop on your own. Driving vehicles (maybe not on the highway). Operating equipment. Answering the phone. Cooking, caring for animals, staying by yourself. Operating firearms. Operating boats. There are countless examples of earned responsibilities, but the common denominator is the responsibilities are earned.

I hate the phrase, “Is it safe”? The world is NOT a safe place, nor will it ever be a safe place. A far better test would be to ask, “Is that person responsible”? Earning responsibility builds character and respect.

Several years ago I was on a subway in New York City. There was a girl that looked to be about 11-12 years old that appeared to be going to school. She was wearing a school uniform, had her books with her and was clearly traveling alone. That girl was far more responsible than a lot of 20-year-old kids that I’ve seen. She had earned the responsibility to get to school on her own. She was probably far better equipped to deal with life than some kid that was coddled.

Young men and women in the military earn responsibilities and some of those responsibilities are huge.

Young men and women in EMS & Fire Service earn responsibilities that are far beyond the average 20 year old.

Members of a family farm will often operate equipment that is potentially dangerous and expensive, but they are trusted to be responsible.

I would submit that people that EARN responsibility are far better equipped to handle life than those that are sheltered.

What say you?

 

[RicinYakima]

Responsibility is earned in baby-steps. It is something that is taken by the individual, I have the right to make a choice, and I am responsible for the path I take. It is the public face of character; doing the right thing when nobody will see or ever know what you did when you made a choice.

 

[Rally]

I would argue in civilian life, there are many people placed in jobs/ positions they are not qualified to do nor earned, but placed there because of birth right, chronyism, or a government program.
In the military, I served under two commanders who were relieved of their command, and as a young Sgt., placed in positions I was far from qualified to hold, and had up to 28 subordinates daily, under my supervision, in a foreign country.

 

[RBHarter]

I'm a firm believer in chores and suffering the outcome of failing to meet the desired outcome . Having to wash a bowl before you can have breakfast because you didn't do the dinner dishes as a preferred example . Of course the old "if the critters aren't fed you don't eat" rule . Im not going to let someone get hurt .........., embarrassed , inconvenienced , wet , cold , generally miserable yes but not permanently damaged .
I ask that the beds get turned up , but I don't demand boot or hospital corners .
So it goes . I ask , you know , I suggest , you go the extra inch , I slack the reigns , you continue to deliver , I reward accordingly .
Iron fist until they're 6-8 , generally resulted in good kids .
As a senior staff member I applied the same and it works as a lowly rent a cop too .

I'm not sure that's exactly what you had in mind or not .

 

[Petrol & Powder]

Good points

I believe we get better outcomes from allowing people to earn responsibility, as opposed to shielding them from all responsibility.

The constant mantra of, "Is it safe"? angers me. The world is not safe. Like RBHarter, I'm not going to let someone get hurt but I'm not going to cut your steak for you when you're 15 simply because knives are dangerous.

I was pushing a lawn mower when I was old enough to use one and responsible enough to use it correctly. It was hardly safe, particularly in those days. (no blade brakes, no rear guards - I was taught the danger of that spinning blade)
I had access to firearms at a young age. I didn't kill my school mates.
I was expected to get myself where I needed to be. That generally involved walking and later driving.

Responsibility isn't confined to children. I see grown men and women that were never allowed to earn responsibility. Because they are irresponsible, they believe everyone else is just like them. They don't understand how someone could be allowed to own a gun. They don't understand how a 16 year old could have a private pilot's license and fly a plane solo. They don't understand how someone could be allowed to build their own house.

 

[Glaciers]

Good points all.
I was always taught, by example mind you, that you just step in if there's a problem or a job that needs doing. I don't think twice about it. I was always give the chance to "do" the job or fix the problem because I learned by good examples and I always watched and learned from my elders. I failed from time to time, but not often.
I never served in the Military or law enforcement, but I always have stepped in, in a time of need. Just second nature of a protector.

 

[fiver]

some things that are responsibilities to some are expectations or circumstances to others.
I didn't earn the right to walk the 2-3 miles to school when I was a kid, but it was my responsibility to get my little sister there safe when the time come.
I had no say in the matter she was old enough to go to school, I wasn't gonna carry her, and we didn't hardly have a first car let alone one for mom to drive us to school in.
Mom took the bus to work until I bought my first car, then she borrowed it until I had my license.
Dad finally got her, her own car, which I had to do some repairs on.
I wasn't responsible for that car, but I was expected to keep it running the best I could while at home.[and after I had moved out]

 

[popper]

Not earned but LEARNED.
No opportunity to learn because you're coddled? Never learned to be observant about what is going on around you? Why do some (kids) make 'bad' choices? Cause they never 'learned' to make good choices! A lot to do with self esteem, need for approval from others. And THAT is earned. Unfortunately from many that haven't learned much of anything. I learned to ride a bicycle cause I wanted to and by falling a few times. Once learned, I was responsible for riding it safely. Any accidents were my fault and my consequences.
Nobody taught me to shoot, learned what gun were from 'cowboys and indian' movies. Rubber band guns taught aiming. Progressed to a POS 22 kid gave me and folks didn't now I had. Garand in boot camp. 22 hi-standard I didn't shoot much in college. Didn't have this hobby until well into my 60s.

 

[Charles Graff]

I profoundly agree with the OP!

 

[Kevin Stenberg]

+2 in agreement.
I also think it is important to tell others that their actions are responsible. There aren't enough ataboys handed out.
Last Sunday when i was filling my cars gas tank. I commented to the lady by me how nice it was to see a female checking and adding her own oil. When she went in to pay for her gas. She found my wife and said i made her day. Just by making small talk. And telling the truth.

 

[Tomme boy]

I drove my first tractor at 6yo. I had a lot of fender time before that. If you know what that is. Was driving the old 68 ford with a 3 speed on the tree at 8. By 10 I was driving into town. Cops never batted an eye. They knew I was sent to get something and get my rear right back. Besides, at 10yo I was not into girls yet!LOL

 

[Petrol & Powder]

My "fender time" was on a Ford 8N. It had two brake pedals and, as near as I could tell, they were mostly decorative. It had a 6 volt positive ground system (which could be jump started with 12 volts directly to the starter if you knew what you were doing). The PTO was not live. To check the fuel you stood up on the foot plates, leaned over the steering wheel, opened the top cover, took the fuel cap off and looked into the tank. That was often done while mowing ! To this day, I think I could locate 90% of the Zerk fittings within 60 seconds.

I learned to drive cars & trucks with a "three on the tree" column shift AND I learned that on vehicles with non-synchronized 1st and reverse gears.

I learned that when you drove through deep water in a car with drum brakes on all 4 wheels, you might want to dry those brakes before you need to stop in a hurry.

 

[RBHarter]

I believe everyone should have the opportunity to drive a 4 speed pre 72' Beetle on a skid pad before they get a DL . They must have the worst brakes and clutches on the planet . Well after we graduated from work brakes and added proportioning valves any way .

 

[popper]

There aren't enough ataboys handed out. Only ones that count are when YOU accomplish something. Good supervision and encouragement to keep at it keep you working toward the goal. Dad took me to the parking lot in the 49 Ford, spent 15min driving forward and backwards 50ft at a time. Then got to steer around for a while. I did drive that 56 beetle till the clutch wore out but speed shifting didn't help. There was a drag crew that got 400hp out of that engine (no blower!) but not with a standard clutch. Got to drive older Bro's 57 Ford as a snow plow, until the red overheat light came on. Uh, need to use antifreeze in the radiator!

 

[Gary]

My first Tractor "fender time" was when I was 9~10 atop a old Johnny Popper, least that's what I called it. Sounded like a hit and miss engine. Big old beast as I recall. Couldn't hardly wait for my turn at the wheel. That was back in the mid 50's. First car was a 1954 Ford 4 door that I had to keep a gallon of Western Auto 30 wt. in the trunk and usually added a quart every time I gassed her up. Solid old tank she was.

 

[Petrol & Powder]

I believe everyone should have the opportunity to drive a 4 speed pre 72' Beetle on a skid pad before they get a DL . They must have the worst brakes and clutches on the planet . Well after we graduated from work brakes and added proportioning valves any way .

Ah yes, the "pre-Super" Beetle.
Torsion bar front suspension, drum brakes, flat windshield.
They were not BAD cars, they were just very simple cars. The Super Beetles have front struts and would turn a little tighter. They also handled a bit better, particularly at speed (which means anything over 30 in a Beetle).

Other than the rust issues, they were indestructible.

 

[Maven]

P & P, After I retired, I began working for a local tourist RR hoping to eventually "graduate" to a locomotive engineer. (There were several others hoping to do the same thing,) Our trainer, a full time CSX engineer, whom I'd known for years, never cut me any slack, which was fine, but he often gave me more responsibilities and opportunities than the others because "you pay attention up there (i.e., when running the train)." I can't imagine doing otherwise as I took the job very seriously and enjoyed it immensely. Sadly, some years later that same engineer was involved in a nasty accident in which he ran his train into the back of another while on a side track.

 

[Petrol & Powder]

I'm sorry to hear that engineer was involved in a serious accident. You obviously earned the responsibility he assigned to you. He recognized that you were paying attention to an important task and I assume he believed you would grow professionally with added responsibility.

People who earn responsibility tend to earn more responsibility throughout life. People don't become pilots, surgeons, bank presidents, judges, etc., by accident.

When someone shows they are responsible they tend earn more responsibility.

 

[popper]

Beetle was fun until Mom was taking me to Sedalia for the stock car (1/4 dirt) races. Oil cooler clogged and she locked up tight half way from KC. One cylinder/piston and new clutch plate later, back to normal. Dad was amazed when he saw how the pulled the motor. Super bug got rid of swing axle & bars on the front.

 

[Petrol & Powder]

The Beetles were educational !
In terms of production numbers, the standard Beetle far outnumbered the Super Beetles but they were both solid cars; well at least mechanically. Rust was their weakness.
You had to run straight 30 weight oil in them, multi-grade oils would totally screw up the engine. If the fan belt broke you had better stop and fix it immediately unless you enjoy car fires. Replacing a fan belt took about 5 minutes if you were slow. (they came from the factory with a spare belt !). You could pull the engine out with a floor jack and few hand tools in about 15 minutes. (quicker if you knew what you were doing). It took a LOT of snow to stop one. The heat was......."aspirational" for about the first 30 minutes of driving.
If you had a little bit of mechanical skill or were willing to learn; it would generally get you where you needed to be. It wouldn't get you there fast or with a lot of friends - but it would get you there.


My father had a late 50's Beetle. It didn't even have a fuel gage. There was a fuel valve on the floor. You drove until it ran out of gas and pushed the lever to the reserve setting (like a motorcycle) you then had about 1 more gallon of gas left. The spare tire provided the pressure for the windshield washer!