I get the main crux of the complaint, but isn't that generally what this forum is set up to accomplish. Not to give final, accomplished load data that fits all circumstances, that doesn't exist, but to discuss issues and give advice on solutions. Mentor, if you will.
I get asked all the time to recommend a caliber, gun and brand and type of ammuntion for self defense.
There is no correct answer for everyone, as is evidenced by some of the more lively discussions on this forum (9mm vs 45 acp vs 357 vs wheel gun vs 1911 vs glock vs grip angle, you get the idea). So I give advice that will help the person figure it out for themselves. Usually this involves letting them shoot a few of my guns, under my close supervision.
I try to mentor them. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
I feel the knowledge, both collectively and individually, on this forum is tremendous. We each have specific knowledge and experiences unique to ourselves that we can share to help others. That's the reason I read every post on this forum.
I just see it as an opportunity to mentor someone and teach them how to figure it out for themselves and eventually pass on some of the knowledge I've acquired over my lifetime, as limited as it might be.
And who knows, they might eventually teach me something!
Sorry, I can really ramble sometimes.