K-9 humor
- Thread starter Rick
- Start date
richhodg66
Well-Known Member
richhodg66
Well-Known Member
richhodg66
Well-Known Member
richhodg66
Well-Known Member
A guy and his dog walks into a talent scout's office.
"I have a highly talented and intelligent talking dog that..", begins the man and got interrupted by the talent scout:"Listen, I get at least one talking dog act a day, so not to waste each other's time, please leave my office. This act has become so tired already."
"Please sir",the man implored, "All i ask is ten seconds of your time. I promise it will be worth your while. Everywhere I get turned away without even getting a foot in the door. Ten seconds is all i need to change your mind."
"Ten seconds only. Screw this up and i will personally throw both you out of here ", said the talent scout
"Thank you sir. You wont regret this" said the man
He asked the dog:"What is the protective layer on a tree called?"
The dog said:"Bark"
The man asked:"What grade sandpaper is used in industrial application?"
"Rough", came the reply
"What is the structure on top of a building called?", and the dog replied:"Roof"
"And my final question, what was the name of a well known and important woman in Biblical history", and the reply was:"Ruth"
Enraged, the talent scout grabbed both the man and the dog, threw them both into the street and shouted:"Dont bother looking for work in this city again!"
As the two walked home, the man said:"Thanks a lot. You blew the very last chance we had."
The dog replied:"Hey don't blame me for your stupid technical questions! If you phrased the last question to something like 'name a woman from ancient history', I could have said Helen of Troy, Joan of Arc or Cleopatra but no..."
"I have a highly talented and intelligent talking dog that..", begins the man and got interrupted by the talent scout:"Listen, I get at least one talking dog act a day, so not to waste each other's time, please leave my office. This act has become so tired already."
"Please sir",the man implored, "All i ask is ten seconds of your time. I promise it will be worth your while. Everywhere I get turned away without even getting a foot in the door. Ten seconds is all i need to change your mind."
"Ten seconds only. Screw this up and i will personally throw both you out of here ", said the talent scout
"Thank you sir. You wont regret this" said the man
He asked the dog:"What is the protective layer on a tree called?"
The dog said:"Bark"
The man asked:"What grade sandpaper is used in industrial application?"
"Rough", came the reply
"What is the structure on top of a building called?", and the dog replied:"Roof"
"And my final question, what was the name of a well known and important woman in Biblical history", and the reply was:"Ruth"
Enraged, the talent scout grabbed both the man and the dog, threw them both into the street and shouted:"Dont bother looking for work in this city again!"
As the two walked home, the man said:"Thanks a lot. You blew the very last chance we had."
The dog replied:"Hey don't blame me for your stupid technical questions! If you phrased the last question to something like 'name a woman from ancient history', I could have said Helen of Troy, Joan of Arc or Cleopatra but no..."
richhodg66
Well-Known Member
A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"
"Because the dog's a damn liar. He never did any of that shit."
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"
"Because the dog's a damn liar. He never did any of that shit."
RicinYakima
High Steppes of Eastern Washington
A classic and one of my all time favorites! The humor is that we get tied up in the minutiae, and forget to look at the big picture.
